All posts filed under: Grace

Waiting Mamas

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“Waiting Mamas” We are hard to spot. We stand with empty arms, wear thick sweaters to cover the bruises of wounded hearts, stretch smiles over our faces to hide the pain. We send gifts for Mother’s Day, and spend the night sewing heart-shaped pieces back together again. We take numbers, find stiff-backed seats, avoid the eyes of strangers. We flip through magazines, chat with uncomfortable husbands. Doctor visits and web pages, tests and tea leaves, tinctures and time, we diagnose, test, hypothesize. We try, we try, we try. We wait. Written April 28, 2014, seven months before our number was finally, FINALLY called.

For the Memories

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What if I forget something? Last night, I nearly had a panic attack over this very question. The truth is, of course, I will forget something. I already have. In Elliott’s almost five months of life, there have been expressions, sounds, and moments that were beautiful and are now lost to my memory. I keep telling myself I should keep a written journal. I always have. (There’s just something about handwriting the moments of your life.) Now, though, I have so little time and typing is much, much faster. So, here is a list. For the memories. + On Friday, Elliott started sitting up. He was so focused on the pattern of his sheets that he didn’t even realize he was holding himself up. Now, he loves sitting. He’s a bit like the tinman (woooooah one way, then woooooah the other), but he’s getting the hang of it FAST. + Last week, he started trying to “trick” me. He would stick out his lower lip like he was sad, and when I said, “Heeeey. What’s …